16:34
Ok so I don't know whether I should be worried today or not. Firstly I've been getting all these weird pains in my abdomen all day. I mean really sharp pains and I don't know whether I should be hitting speed dial on my phone to my hospital or whether I should just take it easy. It's pretty weird since I don't know WHAT ON EARTH IS GOING ON IN THERE! Does anyone know? Aiko has been kicking me on and off the whole day and pushing her head out really far in other instances. This isn't usually how she I during the day. I just pray that nothing is wrong.
Secondly, today marks a week and a day that I was put back on the bus to singles-vile and guess what?! I'm ok. No really, I am just OK. I think may have cried myself out or being pregnant has regulated my happy and sad hormones somehow but I really seem to be ok. Feels like ages ago that our relationship came to an end. Guess I'm so used to being alone that when something like that ends I can easily slip back into just being single again. Oh who am I kidding?! I feel nothing! Absolutely nothing about being ingle because I'm really not. Especially now. I got God with me every day and not to mention those crazy friends of mine who truly believe I'm married to them. Well we are married. Lol.. No homo!
It's funny to think that in the 7 or so years I've known them, we've all been to hell and back and we've done it standing by each others side. Maybe standing behind, just for safety.. I'm just saying.. (Ya'll know who you are who stand behind a ho). Gotta love them to death, life and the ends of the world.
Exchanged a few words with him last night. Was surprised when I saw the message from him but funny enough is that it didn't make my heart sink to the pits of my stomach and explode. That's because I doubt my heart is still there. Nice to know he at least thinks bout Aiko wherever he is. She reacted a bit when I passed on his message to her. The least she deserves is a message from her dad every now and then. What surprised me though was when I put my phone down and began to write, thoughts about him seemed to just disappear. It's as if he never existed and it was just Aiko and I again. I'm not sure whether that is a good thing or not anymore.
I try talk to her when I can, the rest of the time I'm singing to her. Tammy refuses to acknowledge my singing ability for some reason but I think she(Aiko) likes it. I hope she does because I enjoy doing it. And no Tam, I won't stop. I'll hum sometimes but when a sister gotta belt it out, she will. Tammy has also concluded that Aiko is the mini version of her and the way this child kicks, I would tend to agree to some point.
Weird when one thinks bout it. Been doing some reading n labour stuff today. Pretty deep information. Gotta work on my breathing and relaxation exercises because I seriously could give birth anytime from mid November to January 6th, 2012. It's so close. I really want to hold her now but the best thing I can do is just hold my belly and hope she kicks…
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