Just when I thought...

Monday, October 17, 2011

18:28

Just when I thought I was over the whole thing, I feel like I just took a 100 steps back. And back to a feeling I do not ever wanna feel again. The other baby mama just contacted me to say that she didn't reply to the message I sent her a month ago because she felt like she was stealing my happiness. Okay… then she goes on to say that she has nothing against me and hold no grudges either.. Alright someone PLEASE explain to me how one should respond to that because truly, Mel was answering from a distracted perspective.

I'm now trying to do work but I can't focus because it's now started running through my mind all over again! I wanna focus but I can't seem to anymore. Hence I'm writing, maybe it will help me clear my head. I really don't know what to think right now.

I'm a bit upset that she decides to wait a month to say anything. I completely forgot that I had even sent her a message. What’s worse is I'm still brewing in the  confusion from this weekend with my ex. So more confusion wasn't needed on my part. I can't help but think that maybe my face is being rubbed in it for some reason. Yes I know they're together, and it's taken me a while, but I'm ok with that. To wanna talk to me at this stage about something that's long since happened isn't kosher. Not one bit.

I guess she means well on some level but I don't think bringing it up the way she did was right. Not one bit. If there's a problem, I say address it there and then. Don't wait for the Christmas decorations to go up before you say anything. If you have nothing to say then leave it there. Eventually, people forget bout it and move on.

*Sigh*… Well now it's back to square one today. Hopefully tomorrow I'll be better and can manage to put the smile back on my face…