Mommy's lil joy

Thursday, November 24, 2011

09:02

Can't believe it's Thursday already… where is all this time going to?! It's a if time has somewhere important to be and we're just setting it back with our daily lives. Well ain't that just great. Not even time has the time for us lol…

Well it is another beautifully blessed morning and here I am… drinking a hot cup of tea and thinking bout my appointment this afternoon. Going to finally get a scan of this lil monster(I mean that in a good way) inside me. This should be fun! Well for me anyway.. Have I mentioned how active she's become lately?! The child doesn't kick anymore… nooooo.. Now she assaults me. Sometimes I have to say "woah there" or "ouch" the way she kicks so hard. Eh I swear either I'm right and she's planning her empire in there or she's somehow telepathically communicating with her father and they've cooked up some plot to make me suffer a lil… actually I wouldn't doubt either theory.

*Sigh* Speaking of her dad. It's been strange, even if I do say so myself. I mean really strange for me especially. I don't know what to say to people anymore when they ask me about him and his involvement. I won't lie, I've basically been doing it on my own and the most I've received from him to date is a lot of support(I use that lightly). What do you tell someone when they ask about the baby's father and frankly you're tired of telling them the whole sordid story because well, you're trying to move on from it?!? It's crazy when I think about it. I try not to talk about him too much or at all even but when someone asks, I have to say something and you know what my answer is everytime?! "Oh no, he's fine. He's very involved actually. We're working it out". Dumb ain't it?! But what can I say. That's now my automated response. I feel like a broken record sometimes but it's all I can muster to say nowadays. It's tiring to keep explaining what really happened and sometimes I just wish people would read the blog.. Well that's being ambitious in a sense.. Ag gotta come up with another automated response because it feels like I'm lying more to myself than I am to them. Sad really.

I'm starting to get so freaked out now with this whole single mother business. I know I'm not the first woman to have to raise a child on my own and I won' be the last but it still freaks me out of my wits( not Wits guys… Gosh lol).. Wish me luck. No actually don't. just keep me in your prayers for the next, let's say.. Uhm, lifetime! this should be fun…. I hope… (-_-)

This is what Aiko and I look like at 33 weeks and 4 days