18:09
It's honestly been quite a rollercoaster of a year for me and every time I think I'm heading in one direction, my life will suddenly take a new turn and I'd need to adapt all over again. Well it's done it again!
Ok so I have a confession to make. I started talking to Aiko's dad again about 2 weeks ago. He called me and wanted to talk. I found it a bit surprising seeing as he was the one who wanted to cut contact in the first place but I answered the phone anyway. It was good to talk to him. I missed that I could legally do that. Well yea, we've been talking regularly now and I'm not sure what to feel. I honestly thought I could bury any feelings I had for him but I can't. I tried to but it failed. No matter how deep I buried them, they seem to have dug themselves out and here I am with feelings I'm not sure what to do with.
It’s been quite interesting I must say because half the time I don't know how to act! It's like I'm, well, a blundering fool! Not even sure what I'm saying half the time either. Well the unexpected turn I guess is that he still feels the same way about me as I do about him. Like genuinely. Weirder still is that from the 2 conversations I've had with the other girl involved in this situation, she feels it too( well the part about him still loving me). I've been honestly trying to take this in one day at a time but it doesn't seem to be working too well because I'm still pretty shell shocked. I guess Tammy was right(isn't she always somehow?!)
I have quite a few big decisions to make over the next month and I'm not really sure which way it's gonna go. I've stopped trying to plan things. Some things just never go as I plan anyway so I'm just going with what will feel right in my heart, mind and soul.
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