PLEDGE

Monday, March 17, 2014

10:35 AM

I got this pledge from a friend of mine a while ago and I just added a few more lines but this is the pledge I made to myself. I feel everyone should make this pledge because it is amazing how the view of yourself can change when you take a few small steps to changing them.

PLEDGE

I, Melissa Boguo, vow to open up my life. I built walls to protect me instead they imprisoned me. Now I bring them down. This is my pledge to say "Yes" to life.

I pledge to be gentle with myself. To love, accept and forgive myself, over and over again, all the days of my life. Akin to the beautiful flower which grows out of mud, I vow to seek the gems in "bad" experiences and thus free myself of regrets.

The allure of perfection shall not intimidate me or hinder my growth since I vow to love myself with the same intensity through hits and misses.

I vow to stop entertaining these 2 questions:

1. What is wrong with me?
2. Who is going to save me?

They lead me away from the truth. There is nothing wrong with me. There never was and never shall be. Consequently, I do not require a savior. Henceforth, I promise to make choice that are reflective of this truth.

I vow to trust myself; to value my personal truth over the truth of others. I know better what is best for me. I pledge to appreciate my personal experience, valuing its lessons above the expectations and prescriptions of others.

I vow to give my feelings and intuition the same credence I give my intellect. To honour the inherent validity of ALL my feelings. I give myself permission to base my decisions solely on how I feel.

With courage, I vow to feel ALL my feelings, not to block, minimize or attempt to hang on to those that have dissipated.

This promise I make to myself; to act courageously in expressing my truth, to myself and others.

I vow to accept my needs, wants, dreams and desires without judgment, whether I choose to pursue their fulfillment or not.

I vow to remain loyal to myself all the days of my life. To never choose the love, acceptance or approval of another over my own. I promise to never abandon or demote my relationship with myself for any other role.

I vow to recognize as a liar, any voice, internal or external, that tells me I am inferior or superior to another.

I vow to never ask another for that which I am not giving myself. I take responsibility for meeting my own needs, even as I enlist the support and help of others and learn to achieve a balance between independence and interdependence.

I vow to heal my relationship with my body. To remember that my body is much more than a set of measurements. It is a vital conduit for my physical experience, a guardian and a teacher. I vow to love and nurture my body; to befriend, honour  and respect it and listen to its wisdom all the days of my life.

I intend to remember that I am a creative being, who imagines her reality into being and behave accordingly, giving my powers of co-creation the respect that they deserve. I will nurture and regularly express my creative impulses.

I promise to embrace and celebrate my femininity. To be curious about it's gifts. To explore feminine gentleness, creativity and intuition. To love my woman body, it's softness, curves and receptivity.

I vow to give the true God the glory at all times through all I say and do. Knowing that it is only because He is that I am. Through good times, bad times, and stagnant times, I promise to always look to him. I  will appreciate all the beauty He has surrounded me with, be it in myself or the world around me.

I vow to strive to love wholeheartedly despite what anyone may do to me. I promise to eliminate all negative thoughts, habits that hinder my progress or happiness. No one is responsible for achieving my goals but me.

I vow to work towards true enlightenment revoking anything that promotes ignorance in me or others.

ALL IN ALL, I MELISSA, Pledge to value myself, respecting my body, needs, desire and honouring my body, mind, emotions and spirit.

I WILL live my best life.

This is it

This is my life

Nothing to wait for,

Nowhere else to go

No one  to make it all different

THIS IS IT!

Loneliness

Monday, March 17, 2014

6:30 AM

So here I am lying wide awake in bed and I don't understand why my brain won't just switch back off and send me back to dreamland like my daughter here having sweet dreams. Whhhhhyyyyyy???!!!! *Dramatic screaming at the world in my head* I really just want to be in a state of sweet nothingness but I can't.

So here I am, Hillsong (The Young & Free Album is amazing might I add. Just what I need) playing on my earphones while I write this now. Sometimes my writing gaps are too big. Note to self: Sort that out!

So my reason for being awake right now. I didn't realize how lonely it can be being me sometimes. Yesterday made that apparently too clear for me. As it stands, I feel so very, very awkward around couples but then again, I don't have men falling at my feet and I'm ok with that( made my peace with being who I am a long time ago so that doesn't bother me anymore). I thought I was ok with being on my own until the events of this past weekend changed all that for me.

I won't delve into the events but being a single mother is another level of God strength, I'm slowly starting to become accustomed to but sometimes it's a terribly lonely road. I'm not sure when or if it will change but I just have to hang in there.

One thing I know though, is that this is a moment of weakness. And when I am weak, He is strong. I just got to keep my head up and accept this as part of my moulding. Through all this, God is getting me to a place I need to be. I have to believe that there is a greater plan at work here for my life.

The feelings will come and go but when they do come as they did this morning, I must feel them and write.

Peace and love

Celebrate

Do you ever celebrate you? And I'm not talking when you do something great and make yourself proud but even when you're at your lowest? Celebration is not hard. You need to make it a habit and not just on certain occasions.

Celebrate God, celebrate every waking moment you have. Make your life the best not for others but for yourself. Imagine your life was a movie and when it's time to play it back, what do you want others to see in your life movie?

I know it's not easy to do and I'm not saying I've even gotten it right. In fact I'm such a work in progress I should walk around with a sign. But it excites me to celebrate because God has given me talent, beauty and such amazing uniqueness that celebration should always be oozing out of me!

The dictionary defines celebration as honouring or praising publicly! No matter what anyone says, your life should be a celebration. So you must be wondering, how do you celebrate yourself, life? The key is LOVE. Love is not just a word. It is a doing word. Love is physical action. You cannot say you love yourself/life and not do anything about it. That's not love. That's just an empty word.

Celebration/praise/gratitude is born from love. Love is action. Happiness is born from celebration. An amazing life is born from total and complete happiness. Happiness that's so infectious, people want to be around you just so that they can have you rub off on them.

Celebrate your life, you only have one. Celebrate the people that have been placed in your life because whether you choose to accept it or not, there's a reason why they are there in the first place. There's something profoundly inspiring about your story to someone. You went through something so that someone could find the courage to face their own situation. Nothing is a mistake about what you're going through or have been through.

Maybe it's time to discover what life can be like with so much love in it, you can't help but overflow. This world has become so full of negative feelings, that maybe it's time for your light to shine. This dark place needs some light and that can only happen if you find that very light in yourself and embrace it.

Give God that space to work in you. You'll be surprised what happens when you begin that journey to finding happiness, celebration and  LOVE!

Try it

Ta 

Back Again!

New year. New posts. Guess who's baaaccckkkkk???!!!

It's been a really long time since I posted up anything and I have been receiving request to update so here it is.

The primary intention when I had started this blog was to release and heal. It ended up doing a whole lot more for  me than that as I was able to be honest in a way I wasn't when talking to friends. A lot has changed since then, especially me.

I don't expect anyone to understand or even care about anything I say but I will thank you in advance for taking the time to read anything I post.

So first major thing that has changed I  my life is the fact that I don't talk to A* anymore. Not at all. Not even interested for phased by it. I guess I knew it would happen and now that it has, I'm ok with it. Life moves on. I wish him all the best in life and with his family. I occasionally find myself saying a little prayer for him but that's usually where it stops. I don't want to waste  energy on things that are not positive in my life.

Major change #2 is that I don't believe God exists. I KNOW He does. I've been on a journey of discovery that has catapulted me in a realm of finding knowledge. My brother introduced me to a series online that has absolutely opened my eyes to God's majesty. I'm not at the stage of some of the featured people in those video's but I'm enjoying the journey I'm on.

Guess what?! I knit and crochet now too! Yes, that's right, KNIT! I taught myself a new skill( with the help of a few tutorials of course). I love it though. It's amazing that my hands can create all these beautiful pieces. I'm proud of myself for trying it. This year I'm going to teach myself another new skill, just not too sure what yet. Any ideas?

This blog is not just about me anymore but about everything I encounter in my experience. Be it in thought, spirit or body. I want to live a positive life and so I will only speak positive.

I love God, my family and my life!

Till next time..

Ta