Are you happy?

Friday, 13 January 2012

13:48 PM

"There is only one success - to spend your life in your own way."

- Christopher Morley

Ok this is a genuine question I pose to everyone. Are you happy? I mean really really really happy?! We go through each day on this rollercoaster of ups and downs where our mood is determined by our circumstances at that point in time and nothing else. But my question still stands, are you happy? Are you happy with yourself? Your life? Your family? What you do everyday?

In fact when was the last time you felt so happy that you just had a permanent smile on your face? Where you just felt like you were going to explode from all the happiness in your mind, body, heart and soul? When last? For many of us, we don't remember such occurrences. We allow our happiness to be determined by outside factors and not by ourselves.

What many fail to realize is that happiness is a choice. It doesn't come because of a new job or your boyfriend treats you right. It has to be there within you no matter what may happen in your life. You have to CHOOSE to marry your happiness! I'm not saying forget about all other emotions. All I'm saying is that your happiness should come first in your life not someone else's. If you want someone to love you unconditionally with all their heart then you must first love yourself in that way. The same applies when I talk about happiness. You have to be fully and wholly happy with yourself, your life and everything that comes with it before you can expect to have other people happy to have you around.

Marry your happiness. It's the only way. Take those sacred wedding vows if you must:

I _____, take you Happiness, to be my life partner. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or  for worse. For richer or for poorer. In sickness or in health. To love and to cherish 'till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.

Make that a solemn promise to yourself that no matter what may happen, how it may happen or why it may happen, you will not allow others to steal pieces of your happiness because at the end of the day your happiness may change more lives without you knowing it than your sadness or anger ever will

Here are a few tips for increasing happiness in daily life:

1) Change the way you look at things. Always look at the bright side. Look at the good and positive side of every situation.

2) Think of solutions, not problems.

3) Listen to relaxing, uplifting music.

4) Watch funny comedies that make you laugh.

5) Watch your thoughts. Whenever you catch yourself thinking negative thoughts, start thinking of pleasant things. OR TRY TO!

6) Always look at what you have done and not at what you haven't.

7) Do something good for yourself everyday. Something you enjoy and love

8) perform one act of random kindness a day to someone whether you know tham or not.

9) Always expect happiness.

10) Do not envy people who are happy. On the contrary, be happy for their happiness.

11) Associate with happy people and not sad people who tend to bring you down along with them. Remember, happiness is contagious.

12) Do your best to stay detached, when things do not go as planned. Detachment will help you stay calm and control your moods and reactions. Detachment is not indifference. It is the acceptance of the good and the bad and staying balanced. Detachment has much to do with inner peace, and inner peace is conductive to happiness.

13) Smile more often.

Twenty 1

Thursday, 12 January 2012

20:44 PM

Today I'm 21 and 4 months old and I spent the day immersed in my thoughts and memories today. Worst thing, I guess, was most of my thoughts involved my ex. The rest were about my upcoming year, my life, how I'm going to manage to do this etc.

A few years ago when I thought about being 21, I was so excited. All I could dream about was all the freedom I'd have, but then 21 did come and my life was going in a direction I didn't ever plan or think it would. Here I was, not even a month into my 21st year, 6 months pregnant and heartbroken. The sad thing though is I somehow lost a big part of me in all that chaos. The best part of me. I didn't recognize who I was after it all and how I had managed to get myself into the mess I was in. how the person I loved wholly and unconditionally could betray me like he did. For a good time after that I felt pretty worthless. As if I had done something that made sure I deserved what I was going through. I blamed myself for how I was treated. Like I didn't mean anything anymore. Some part of me even blamed myself for what had happened.

I had so many questions. Why wasn't I good enough? Why was this happening to me? Didn't I deserve to be someone's world even just once? To this day I still don't understand how things got that bad and some part of me still feels like that young woman felt the day after turning 21. I doubt that will go away anytime soon. No matter how small that part of me is, it will still feel it.

Now I'm just days away from giving birth and every time I talk to him about something, no matter how menial, some part of me always goes back to that place afterwards. It still feels like I have so many questions but I won't ever get around to them. I built a wall so thick against the emotions, what happened and him that I'm slowly starting to feel nothing. I'm going numb and that's what scares me. I don't wan to go numb.

But here I am 4 months later. I feel a new sense of self awareness now. I can't change what happened, how it happened or even why it happened. All I know is that things in life happen for a reason. Even though this wasn't part of my plan it has made me realize something. There are greater forces at work in my life. And my story I somehow helping someone get through something that they are going through and finding strength from my strength. That I am proud of. I hope when my 22nd birthday comes around I would have achieved more than I anticipated I could have changed one more life. That is my goal for 2012 and beyond.

2012… a new update

Sunday, 08 January 2012

10:06 AM

I should really be ashamed for not having blogged this long. I guess with all the baby prep and trying to induce labour, I lost track of the days and now here I am… in 2012 with my first post of the year..

Alright so first things first. Aiko. This baby of mine has officially put African and every other time known to man and aliens to shame! Like for real. I really didn't believe that I'd make it to 10 months, let alone 9 with the way I'm built but I'm grateful. Makes my story even more interesting… (hmmmmmmm, I should write this in my baby book).

For the past 3 weeks I've tried everything medically proven to induce labour and none of them have worked. Maybe they gave me a contraction or 2 but those became major let downs when they stopped. The furthest I got to birth was maybe having my plug come out( it sounds grosser than it actually is). I'm getting tired of looking at an empty crib now soooooooo… come Wednesday, I'm going to ask them to induce me! That's right. I don't care to wait anymore! I want my baby and I want her now! Lol… ok a bit dramatic but you all know you are just as impatient as I am(come on, you know you are).

I think it's safe to say that Aiko is now the most anticipated baby for this year…

Alright second update. I feel like certain members of my family have now labelled me the greatest failure in the world. Yep, I'm being serious! In one way or another they've said it to my face and you know what?! I've stopped caring. Obviously since I have no future left in their eyes then what's the point?! Like really, I live my life for me and not anyone else. The judgement that flies my way could power a small village for years and they think I don't notice some of the looks they give me. Everyone that has found out about this pregnancy has in one way or another accepted it and offered me tons of support. Certain members of my fam however?! Yes I understand the shock but to hold it over my head every time? Nah get over it already!

Don't like being irritated by family but when they wanna get nasty?! I gotta stand up for myself. Anyhu I think that's all I wanted to share for now. I'm sure more things will come up when I remember them.